“Show me your friends and I will show you your character.” – Popular saying
“Do not be deceived: “Bad company corrupts good morals.” The Bible in 1 Corinthians 15:33
“A man is upon the religion of his best friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends.” Prophet Mohammad. (PBUH)
These three quotes engender a principle that youth need to learn, understand and apply in their lives. Peer pressure is real, powerful and cannot be ignored. We do not live in isolation
The Pros and Cons of Peer Pressure
John Donne, a poet, wrote, “No man is an island.” In other words, we all affect and are affected by one another. It is only in some religious quarters that people can withdraw fully from the rest of society and attempt to live alone. Even then, how long can one survive without others?
We need others because we are interdependent. No one can produce everything he or she needs. You are a producer of some things but a consumer of others. You cannot survive on what you possess or produce. Therefore, you must reach out.
In this context, people form friendships with those they closely associate with. Alliances can arise between people of the same education experience or level, professionals, age mates or people who share religious beliefs.
When people relate on the same level, we call them peers. Because people want to belong to and remain committed to their friendship, they succumb to the pressure. Peer pressure has both good and bad aspects.
Pros of Peer Pressure
Positive peer pressure helps you to punch above your weight. If your friends are positive-minded people who are excelling in their studies, careers or families, they will push you to be like them. You will do everything possible to catch up with them, hence developing at a personal level.
Positive peer pressure also helps you to have new ideas and approaches to dealing with life’s challenges. As they say, a person who does not travel believes only his mother knows how to cool well. Interacting with peers who have faced challenges and excelled, helps you to think and act beyond your current limitations.
Positive peer pressure can also result in productive and profitable networks. For example, good peers can help you market your business and goods. Through them, you can get employment. Their influence can open doors of opportunities that you cannot open on your own. Good friends are, indeed, a valuable asset.
Cons of Peer Pressure
Negative peer pressure is also a reality. “Bad company ruins good morals”, so says the Good Book. Comparing yourself with you peers may lead you into a life of catching up. This will in turn plunge you into debt and related challenges. For example, if you friend has the latest model of your favourite car and you cannot afford it, you might be pressured into borrowing or stealing to acquire the same machine.
Negative peer pressure can also plunge you into unproductive and illicit relationships. Many relationships and marriages break because one or both partners are influenced by peers to engage in clandestine relationships. The idea of having a side-chick or spare man often has its roots in negative peer pressure. One is persuaded by the actions and words of peers that being unfaithful is acceptable and normal.
Negative peer pressure is also a form of slavery to the thoughts and opinions of other people. Some people operate their lives using the ideas of their peers. While one appears to be normal, his life’s operating system is the philosophy of friends. Before he does anything, he must consult and get the approval of his peers. It does not matter whether that person’s parents, lover or spouse think otherwise.
Negative peer pressure usually ends with dire consequences for many unprincipled individuals. Our jails are full of young people who committed crimes they were incorporated into because of ignorance and naivety. To please friends, a young person can be influenced to participate in armed robbery or fraud. Before the individual realizes it, he or she is in jail, paying for a crime he would have avoided if he had said ‘NO’ to his peers.
In conclusion, choose your friends well. Have principles you stand on. You need peers but not the bad ones. Do not be swayed by the persuasions of others to go against what you believe is right. Learn to say NO when need arises. This is a skill that every human being should possess.
